New Home build almost done

Since the last post on this blog we've created the new blog we were talking about in the last post detailing the new house we're building, sold the old house, moved to an apartment and are now about 6 weeks away from moving into said dream house.

Please take a gander over at the other blog, at present only 16,000 other 'clicks' were made to have a look... ;-)

The dream house

This section could ultimately - and has now become - a new blog. We've closed on the construction loan for the new house and we are planning to start digging in the next few weeks. The lot is located at 4368 Folkstone Circle, Uniontown, OH 44685 but it is still in the city of Green - where we live now even though with a North Canton mailing address (blame local and school politics for that little gem of clarity...)

Anyway... we are building an ultra energy efficient 2-story full ICF (insulated concrete forms) house (projected HERS score: 40) with dual master suites since we have family and friends from near but mostly far and aging parents that will visit for extended periods of time. Plus, if something happens to us (accident, etc...) we can use it as well.

Below are two links to the house plans; the first link is the full set of plans from February and since then we've made a large change in the front elevation (second link). Changes made post the second link version are:
- Extending the stone left of the garage to about 3ft
- Replacing the screened-in back porch with an open porch
- Extending the now open back porch past the in-law suite
This should be the last major alteration and we are now full on in details mode looking at siding options, exterior and interior colors, faucets, etc...

Stay tuned for more on our latest project... Have fun clicking on the links (open in a browser, no special software needed).

Link 1 - February full set (8 pages)
Link 2 - Latest elevation (2 pages)
Link 3 - Link to our builder, the fabulous Charis Homes

March in Review

de Jong Family, March 5, 2011

If you've been to our house, you may have seen a sheet of paper we have hanging on our frig. We hang up a new sheet each month to jot down important dates, highlights, decisions made, projects completed and cute things that Daniel is doing and saying. Since my brain's ability to make and retain memories is a bit shoddy, this is the way I "remember" our life (plus lots of photos!).

I haven't been very good about updating the blog, so I thought I could use my month memory sheet to make at least a monthly blog report, so here's March.

One of my all time favorite pictures of Bailey, circa 2005

Of course, the biggest news of March is that we lost our sweet Bailey girl to liver failure on March 5. It's been much harder than I thought it would be and it's still hard to think of ourselves as a pet-free family.

The other major theme of the month is that we've been quite busy with preparing the house for sale. We started almost a year ago, but we knew that with me, it would take a while, with lots of starts and stops as my brain needed rest. This month we replaced all the carpet upstairs and are in the process of putting a hood in the island above our stove. We've also done some deep cleaning projects: the fireplace, the frig, the pantry. And we finally got the septic tanks cleaned after flooding caused some friends' basement to be flooded with two feet of sewage. Blech! We bought new bedding for our room and the third bedroom, and we bought some new tables and art for the front living room.

Daniel's Room with New Carpet

Along the housing theme, we signed our contract with the builder on the 29th! We were approved for our construction loan on the 25th, and it looks like we'll break ground in May. (We may push off til June, but right now we're thinking May!) Even though we first started talking about building our dream house "someday" four years ago, I can't believe it's happening already! We're hoping everything will be ready by next Friday so we can list our house on April 9. Feel free to start praying for a quick sale!

It has definitely been an expensive month. In addition to the house repairs and improvements, we've had higher than average medical expenses. I had minor surgery on the 22nd for an ongoing issue, which can hopefully be resolved without a major surgery. I have a follow-up appointment with my doctor next week, so we're doing a bit of praying about that. I've been really tired for quite a while so hopefully that can get resolved.

I've also been struggling with vertigo and vision issues for several months, and finally realized that I gave myself another concussion when I hit my head on the sloped ceiling at Niels' parents house on New Year's Eve. The neuro who manages my headaches referred me to a neuro-opthalmologist and I've started vision therapy with her this month. So far, I have new contacts, and I have new glasses to wear when I drive or exercise to help with the vertigo and double vision. The official diagnosis is post-traumatic vision syndrome. I had it with my original TBI, but it's definitely more pronounced now. In a nutshell, my eyes are fine, but my brain is not communicating well with my optic nerve, so what I see is slightly distorted, and my vision field is smaller than it should be. Hopefully, my expensive new glasses will help remind my brain how to place nice with my eyes.

Watching the cars go by.

Daniel continues to be a joy. We are so blessed by this curious, serious, happy boy. Thomas the Train continues to be his obsession and we're looking forward to surprising him next month with A Day Out With Thomas. He also still loves Elmo, airplanes--he's always on the lookout for planes in the air, letters, books, beads, clocks, coloring, cooking with Mommy and helping around the house. He loves to put his clothes in the hamper, put clothes in and out of the dryer, empty the dishwasher, sweep and wipe the table. His big accomplishment this month is that he has given up the pacifier. I was starting to wonder if he would take it to college with him! We started to wean him when everything happened with Bailey, so we put it off a couple weeks and after a couple of rough sleep-less days, we did it!

We are amazed every day at how quickly his language skills--both Dutch and English!--continue to grow. He repeats everything we say and frequently uses 4 and even 5 word sentences. He's very polite and regularly says "please," "thank you," and "help" without prompting. He has thoroughly mastered his letters and has moved on to learning numbers, colors and opposites. He's pretty shy around groups, but is super chatty when he plays by himself or is in his crib. We love to listen to him on the monitor as he recites all the words he knows and practices conversations.

When he isn't playing with his trains, lego or colors, he LOVES to help me in the kitchen. I cook most meals at home each night, so after his nap, he's quick to get us in the kitchen to start dinner. He has an impressive knowledge of whole ingredients. How many 2 year olds do you know that can identify bay leaves and chick peas and basil and couscous? He's amazing.

***cute story alert: I think one of my favorite memories of Daniel and Bailey will be this...when Bailey first got sick, she was home and sitting on my lap. Daniel was playing with his train in his own world. I was talking softly to Bailey, petting her and saying soothing things like, "It's okay, Bailey. I love you, Bailey." Daniel stopped, walked into the kitchen, opened the pantry, found the bay leaves, and brought them over to us. He put the bag of bay leaves right up to Bailey's face and said, "Bay leaves for Bailey." ***

Love that kid.

Bailey is home again.

Yesterday the vet called to say that Bailey was ready.

She may be, but I'm not. As long she wasn't here, part of me could believe Daniel, that she was really just still at the doctor, getting "fixed."

I'm so grateful for Niels during all of this. The morning after she passed, he went around the house and put all her things away in a box I can look at later when I'm ready to decide what to keep. I heard him crying as he did it, so I know it wasn't easy for him, and my heart swelled with gratitude that my husband loved my dog as much I as I did.

It got me thinking of some of my favorite Bailey memories. In my book, I described Bailey as "my heart on training wheels." When I first brought her home from my mom's house, I was a single career woman, a new homeowner, writing my first book. I was mighty independent, and not at all confident that I had room in my heart to love anyone unconditionally, let alone a pet.

It didn't take long to see that Mom was right. I did need a dog. As I opened my heart to Bailey, she showed me how to give and receive love freely. And one day, when Niels came to visit, she showed me how to recognize a keeper of a man, too.

I was quite sore from a car accident, and Niels was visiting me in Michigan at my townhome. I had just gotten comfortable on the couch when Bailey let me know in her insistent, enthusiastic way, that she needed to go OUT. Niels took pity on me and offered to take her outside. I told him where the baggies were, and warned him that if she went #2 that he'd have to clean it up.

A few minutes later, they returned, Niels went immediately into the powder room with the baggie. I heard him empty it into the toilet and then gag. I heard him wash his hands, and a moment later he came out. He never once complained or even commented how this little task made him sick. I thought to myself, "Now this is a man who will stick around."

We were engaged a few months later.

Before we were married, Niels bought our current house. Bailey and I had been living with friends nearby. It made sense that when Niels moved into the new house, Bailey would move in with him. During those few months, Bailey totally became a Daddy's girl. She LOVED licking Niels' ears. She still love me, of course, but she had a special affection for her Daddy.

It didn't take her long to look to her Daddy to take her out in the morning, and get her daily tummy rub when he came home from work. All day long she would watch for his car, and her ears would perk up if a Ford Fusion drove by. In her last weeks, Niels was kind enough to let me take the lead with Bailey's care, even though she was truly our dog by then.

Niels brought Bailey home last night. There's no way I could have done it. I don't know when I could walk into that vet's office again. They sent her home with a nice paw print, a lock of her hair, and a nice card.

We ordered a nice photo urn for her, which will be here in a few days. With the house getting ready to sale, we wanted something could blend into the background, but still let her be close to us.

Sweet dreams, Bailey Boo.

Sweet Dreams, Bailey Grace

Early Morning Thoughts on the First Day After

Walking back to our car was first worst thing.
No tugging on your leash
No jumping to the seat
My lap was empty with only your collar.
The rain mimicked our tears.
Pulling into the driveway,
I couldn’t help but look through the window
To see that you weren’t perched on the couch
I swore we heard your "woof woof woof"
And the jingle of your collar when we stepped inside
You’re nowhere
And everywhere.
Your leash hangs silently on its hook
Your dish disheveled on the floor
Your food, untouched.
The indentation of your withered body
Still caves your favorite spot on the sofa
Your favorite toy lays lonely on the floor
Your last treat remains, half enjoyed.
It was time, sweet girl.
But not enough time.
At nighttime, you were part of our routine
One last trip outside
One last sip of water
Last night’s lasts were the last lasts.
You didn’t bound up the steps
Brushing my leg in your rush to our room.
How can our big bed suddenly feel so small?
How can our thick comforter lack any warmth?
You didn’t lick my husband’s ears.
You didn’t cuddle into my side.
How can I possibly sleep?
I woke up early and often
And you weren’t there to coax me back to slumber.
My husband slumbers
Because you weren’t there to wake him with a nuzzle
And request to go outside.
I sit here
still feeling the tremor of your last days
And thanking God for all of our good days.
I peek in on our young son
And wonder how we’ll make him understand
That our vet couldn’t “fix it.”
Couldn’t heal you.
How will I answer when he looks for you?
No more shared meals with a toddler.
I’ll have to start sweeping the floor.
You were my helpful shadow,
And the reflection of my life doesn’t look right now.
Who will tell me when the mail is here?
Or the garbage is being picked up?
That company has come?
Or that Daddy is home?
I have no wild barking to calm.
No tummy to rub.
No four-footed observer in my kitchen.
An empty space under
—and empty chair at—our dinner table.
Our laps will remain empty
Our hands won’t know what to do.
No more 8 o’clock bursts of energy.
White flashes around the room.
No more smiles of pure joy.
No more paws upon our hands.

No more thump-thump as you jump to the floor.
In the coming days,
We’ll remember what we forgot.
All the sounds you made as the symphony of our home.
Your stage is silent.
How can one who cannot speak say so much?
You’ve been so much more than a dog.
You were my heart on training wheels.
And you taught me how to love.
You’ve been a mile marker in my life.
You’ve been with me from single to married to mommy.
You’re part of all my important moments.
I don’t know why I thought if I lost you now,
It would be easier somehow.
What is ever easy about a final goodbye?
I miss you, sweet girl.
Thank you for being part of my life.
Thank you for a good life.
Thank you.

In memory of Bailey Grace with a Silly Face
April 14, 2001 – March 5, 2011

Bailey

About two weeks ago, Niels woke to the fragrant aroma of Bailey diarrhea. The next morning we woke up to vomit. We called the vet and brought her in. After checking her out, the vet put her on a sensitive stomach wet dog food. Bailey LOVED it and nearly knocked me over every time I put some in her bowl. She was also on an antibiotic and something to settle her stomach. She didn’t throw up for a week.

I called the vet when we were done with the dog food and asked what I should feed her. She told me to make her some chicken and rice until her follow up in a few days. She ate it the first day, but not the second. At her appointment, the vet said to try her regular food again. She had no interest. The vet then suggested Iams Sensitive Stomach dog food. She turned her nose at that as well. Then we went to Petsmart to get some wet sensitive stomach food. While we were there, cute little puppies were going through their obedience class exercises. I haven’t been in Petsmart much since I left Grand Rapids, so I was immediately brought back to when I took Bailey to obedience school. It was the first time it occurred to me that this might not end well.

The next day, Bailey threw up again, even though she had hardly had anything to eat. The vet told us to bring her right in. Daniel was napping so we didn’t get there until about 3:30. We left about 3 hours later, without Bailey. She was dehydrated and needed IV fluids to rehydrate, more meds to settle her stomach, and more meds to help with the pain she was now feeling. We agreed to have blood drawn and an X-ray done. Her X-ray was mostly normal, but her blood work showed that her liver numbers were astronomically high. One panel had to be diluted 6 times and still didn't even register.

After another 3 days in the hospital with more meds, more blood work,and ultrasound and seeing a specialist, all we know is that Bailey is in liver failure, but we don't know why. For another $3,000, we could do a biopsy, but in reality, she probably wouldn't survive the surgery because her blood isn't clotting well, and if even if she did, we're either going to learn that she has cancer, which she wouldn't survive, or something else she wouldn't survive. As her regular vet told me, as she sobbed with me Wednesday, "The only reason I would advice you to do the biopsy, is if you need to know WHY to live with the decision you need to make."

So Thursday, for me, was about coming to peace with saying goodbye. It's been brutal.

We repeated her bloodwork four times this week. The fourth time actually showed a little improvement--diluted six times, her numbers actually registered, but at the absolute top of the scale, still astronomically high. However, at the point nine of the markers were off, instead of six.

Despite almost a week of intensive care, she is not getting better.

Thursday night, we brought Bailey home for the weekend. She's not eating or drinking much at this point, but she's had a hydrating IV for 4 days, so she'll be okay even if she doesn't drink much at home. I admit, bringing her home for a few days is all for me. I'm having a REALLY hard time with the fact that we never made time for a family photo with all four of us, so I need that before I can say goodbye. We ordered a fancy new camera, which arrived on Thursday.

When I first brought her home, she was so happy to back in familiar surroundings. She even 'talked' to Mom on Skype and looked healthy. The only way you knew she was sick is because of how yellow her eyes, ears and tummy were. But, by 8pm, she was sad again and shivering.

Friday was a somber bittersweet day. I took a TON of pictures of her and Daniel, including the one at the top of the page. When Daniel napped, I realized that it the last time with just the two of us. When Daniel woke up, we took Bailey for a car ride (one of her favorite things) and brought her to the lot where our new house will be built. It breaks my heart that she won't be moving with us. It was pouring rain, so I didn't get to let her out, but she's been there before.

It's been good to have her home. I needed this time to say goodbye and the chance to do all those "lasts." More importantly, I had to know that she wasn't the same Bailey I have known and loved for almost ten years. It's been heartbreaking to see her refuse food and shiver and be sad, but I need to see it too, so that we could know that we were making the right decision.

Our friends Tiffany and Andria came over this morning to take our family pictures. Neither Daniel nor the weather cooperated very well, but we have some pictures of all four of us, which was the last thing I needed.

Our prayer today is that she will pass quietly and peacefully tonight in her favorite place, snuggled between Niels and I. If not, tomorrow we will take her to vet for the last time.

I am just devastated. Bailey is the last carryover I have from my pre-TBI life. I've already lost my job, my writing career, my house, my name (I don't mind that part so much!) and my car. The last few years have been filled with so much loss, Bailey was all I had left, she's been through so much with me. Maybe this is the best time because we're putting our house on the market (was supposed to be this week), and it will be easier when there isn't a dog in the house, and it gives us more options for apartments when the new house is being built, blah blah blah. But it still just bites.

Thanks to all of you who have loved my sweet girl.

Project 365: Day 50 (February 20)

Home. One room done, many to go. This room was the least finished. After painting it in September (after 4 years!), we kinda stalled. Today, we put up the art, shelf, frame, new mirror (not visible) and added new rugs and towel.

Project 365: Day 49 (February 19)

Home. We are putting the house on the market next week so we'll be busy busy busy getting the house cleaned and staged. I always forget to take a "before" picture so here is our back living room, aka the least staged room in the house.

Project 365: Day 48 (February 18)

Solida Home. Tonight our small group gathered to celebrate Kylan's 4th birthday. While some might drool over those hot chocolate cupcakes, I drool over that Kitchen Aid in the corner. D, as usual, had his nose in a book. He is SO my child.

Project 365: Day 47 (February 17)

Home. We enjoyed a GORGEOUS 50 degree day today. All the ice on our driveway melted and a good bit of the snow. We are so ready for spring!

Project 365: Day 46 (February 16)

Day 46: February 16. Home. A bit of scary day for Bailey dog. After waking up to vomit for the second day in a row, I took her to the vet, where she had blood work and x-rays. We were able to bring her home while we wait for results. The drugs tuckered her out pretty good.

Project 365: Day 45 (February 15)

Aultercare Assisted Living Center. Daniel and I spent the morning visiting some local Gramma and Grampas. He loved playing with this woman's bracelet.

Niels and I have started observing No TV Tuesdays. Instead of retiring to the basement when Daniel goes to bed, the idea is that we can work on a project around the house, play a game, read or do something not media related. After seeing what a rock star Daniel was this day, I was thinking this might be a family service project we can all do. It's seems pretty perfect for us because Daniel can participate and it's flexible enough to work around my bad brain days.

Project 365: Day 44 (February 14)

Home. Happy Valentines Day from Daniel!

Project 365: Day 43 (February 13)

Home. The first of many family traditions was kicked off tonight as all three de Jongs made chocolate pretzels for an early Valentine's day treat.

Project 365: Day 42 (February 11)

Charis Homes Model. Daniel checks out the latest Charis project: The Daniel. (Elmo watches in rapt attention).

Project 365: Day 41 (February 10)

Kuts for Kids in Canton, Ohio. Other than being an extremely unfortunate name when translated into Dutch, we really like the stylists at D's salon. He was so so tired when we brought him in, thus the tears and clinging to Elmo. But he's so proud of the result!

Project 365: Day 40 (February 9)

Home. Daniel loves his milk...and his paci. So why should he have to choose?

Project 365: Day 39 (February 8)

Home. D and I made a poster for Gramma Ann's 90th birthday on Friday. Sure wish we could be in Arizona to celebrate with her.

Project 365: Day 38 (February 7)

Home. SO very tired today. Poor D had to fend for himself much of the day. But we ended well and played one of his favorite games. We put a couple flashcards on the floor and ask him to find the one that starts with a particular letter. In this case, he correctly chose the uniform from his Thomas the Train set.

Project 365: Day 37 (February 6)

Home. I went all out for our Super Bowl party. I made kale chips, roasted chick peas (not pictured), matchstick carrots with greek yogurt dill dip, flourless chocolate cake (with Dutch processed cocoa and chocolate brought home from (Holland) with whipped cream, cinnamon raisin bread, beer cheese bread and beer cheese soup. And that doesn't include what our guest brought. No one left hungry...except maybe the Steelers.

Project 365: Day 36: (February 5)

Home. One of my mommy friends posted some really cute "Tom Cruise-Risky Business-esque" photos of her son, and I tried to mimic the shot. Daniel is more of a serious model though, so this was the best shot I got.

Project 365: Day 35 (February 4)

Kings Ridge Lot 64. Bailey got to spend the afternoon at the spa (aka groomer). On the way home, I let her check out her new place of business.

Project 365: Day 34 (February 3)

Home. Packed up a shelf of binders tonight after grabbing the tax files.This just makes me sad.

Project 365: Day 33 (February 2)

Home. With icy rain threatening to knock out our power, we cranked up the heat to avoid a reallly cold night. This morning, D discovered the heat vent.

Project 365: Day 32 (February 1)

Home. With the icy weather, Niels is working from home today. He did take a short break to help D make this airplane.

Silly Daniel: 032.03.11 edition

My friend Rachael is so great about posting the cute things her girls say. I've been wanting to do the same for awhile. So here's today's entry.

Last weekend, the three of us went to a Home & Garden show. D is getting so used to touring homes and house fairs that we have to watch him when we visit our friends because he immediately starts exploring all the rooms

He was being a trooper on Sunday so when we spotted these Thomas the Train flashcards (two of his favorite things!), we decided to reward you. He was quite pleased, as you can see in the photo below.

Daniel is at the age where he's starting to test limits and show his own wants and preferences, which is just what he's supposed to do. Of course, he also needs to obey mommy and daddy. He's actually quite compliant so he doesn't get a lot of time outs. We're also starting to teach him about choices and consequences.

Yesterday, we were cleaning up the living room and Daniel did not want to clean up his Thomas the Train flashcards. Since he rather likes his time outs (he'll put himself in time out for no reason), I decided instead to tell him that he had a choice. Either he could pick up his cards (I help) and he could play with them later when Daddy got home, or I could put them away, and then he wouldn't get to play with them again until tomorrow. He chose option number two. So I picked up the cards and put them on top of the microwave, which sits on our kitchen counter.

This morning, I got Daniel up, gave him his floride and fed him breakfast. After brushing his teeth, he usually goes into the living room and sets up his trains. Today, he went back into the kitchen, pulled one of the chairs from the table, dragged it all the way across the kitchen to the microwave, hopped up, grabbed his Thomas the Train flash cards, got down, (left the chair), walked over to me with the cards and said, "(Play) Cards please, Mommy?"

Silly Daniel.
pulling the chair over

Project 365: Day 31 (January 31)

Home. A gorgeous winter day in Ohio.

Bonus pictures:

Project 365: Day 30 (January 30)

Panera on the Strip. I was able to enjoy a very rare night out without the boys. I met up with some of the ladies from our small group for a little Panera goodness and girl talk.

Project 365: Day 29 (January 29)

RiverTree Christian Church. We usually go to church on Saturday nights, where Niels often runs lights and I serve in the nursery every other month. Tonight there was a little hiccup with the lighting board so they called in the expert to fix it.

P.S. Happy 42 Month-aversary--aka 3.5 years!--to us!

Project 365: Day 28 (January 28)

Home. Niels and I were far too excited to go to bed an a decent hour last night, due to visions of a dream house dancing in our heads. Which meant that D and I had a quiet PJ day at home today. He spent a good amount of time today entertaining himself with the light switch.

Project 365: Day 27 (January 27)

Home. Big night! After 3 1/2 years of stalking our builders, we were finally able to sit down with them and our mostly-finalized floor plan (which they named "The Daniel" *swoon*) to discuss costs and a start date. Hopefully, we'll break ground by May.

Project 365: Day 26 (January 26)

Belden Village Mall food court. Big day! Daniel and I ventured out to my nightmare place: the mall! But Ava's 5th birthday party was worth it. (Shes the sweet girl in pink standing up and drinking her milk). Daniel was the only boy, and clearly, too young to appreciate the ratio. He did really well, despite it being nap time, but he was too tired to join the girls for build-a-bear.

Bonus pictures of the big party:

Daniel's been working on his smile for the camera.

The birthday girl served cute bear cupcakes.

Daniel like the frosting the best.

I love how "oops" pictures look better in sephia.

Project 365: Day 25 (January 25)

Home. When you start off the year with more bad brain days than good, it's not a great way to start off your fitness goals. D spent a little more time playing in his crib as I finished Julia Child's "My Life in Paris." We both felt better after our three hour naps.

Project 365: Day 24 (January 24)

Home. One of our favorite things to do is call Gramma Chi on Skype. Today they shared a snack of "hagelslag," (Dutch chocolate sprinkles). Oma and Opa brought Grampa Chi a box when they visited in November.

Project 365: Day 23 (January 23):

Home. Watching the Packers and Bears battle it out for the NFC Championship, and Daddy and Daniel battle it out for the sippy.

Project 365: Day 22 (January 22)

Home. Bailey dog. As a nine-year-old Shih Tzu, she has no problem staying inside all day, Perfect for a bad brain day. And we're both due for a hair cut.

Project 365: Day 21 (January 21)

Home. Seven years ago, I was taking a break from work, slipped on some ice and hit my head on curb similar to this step. So now, every January 21, I stay home and surround myself with soft things.

Project 365: Day 20 (January 20)

Green Public Library. Finally feeling well enough to venture out a bit, so D and I headed to the local library, a happy place for both D and me!

Project 365: Day 19 (January 19)

Home. Another quiet day at home as my brain continues to recover from our long day on Monday. I can usually tolerate most headaches, but the spinny/dizzy/nausea is harder. I took this picture through the old mirror set against the wall because it gives a peek at how fractured my vision feels today. Also, you can can see the utter mess my sweet boy made. At least he was happy and quiet.

Project 365: Day 18 (January 18)

Canton, Ohio. Didn't do much today as my head is still spinning and throbbing from the long day yesterday. However, D and I did drive down to the SSA office to give our bank info. It was just far enough that our car did this.

Project 365: Day 17 (January 17)

Reading, PA. This was a very long day, as we drove 6 hours away to pick up our new car, another Black Ford Fusion. I tried to be creative to show our happiness about finally having two cars again. Sorry, Niels, you should have let me take a few more pictures!

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mom!